Anne Deleeuw
Miss Hormonal
By now you’ve heard the term, ‘work-life balance.’ And you likely dream about all that it implies – that perfect equilibrium between your career and everything else that truly matters to you… family, friends and even a little time to yourself. Ahh. It’s such a beautiful vision, right?
But now for the real question… who here has found that balance? Am I taking a wild guess in saying that most of you likely answered, ‘not I?’
You may wrack your brain to figure out what you could do differently. You can read countless articles on the subject and follow common advice, such as “delegate tasks,” “just say no,” and “put down your phone already!”
So, you try these things. You really do! But still… no luck.
Well, here’s the glaringly obvious reason why… A genuinely perfect work-life balance isn’t possible for most of us. And that’s doubly true if you have children of most any age still living at home. (Err, maybe not the adult children, but you get the idea.)
Last week, USA Today published an article: “U.S. mothers have it the worst when it comes to work-life balance, research says.” And, I couldn’t help but think, “Well, duh!” Did they really need to conduct extensive empirical research to come to that conclusion?
Just look around you, people! Look at the working moms you know. And look fast because they will be gone within seconds, dashing off to the next meeting, appointment, conference, middle school sports event, etc., etc. They are walking the dog, counseling the kids, unloading the dishwasher, taking out the trash, hugging the kids, checking the homework, cleaning the bathroom, yelling at the kids, preparing dinner, taking the kids to the orthodontist, walking the dog again, chauffeuring kids to the mall, and folding laundry. And folding laundry. And folding laundry.
Then, if they’re lucky, they can have a sip of wine before hitting the pillow. And they’re even luckier if they can get that sip in without nodding off and spilling the wine all over the bed. Because when that happens, guess what… more laundry!
And all that work is done in the hours away from the office.
You can and will find a kind of balance, but it’s more of a balancing act between the many tasks that need done. You’ll find little chill time in between. And really, there’s not much point of stressing out about the fact that you can’t do it all and still have oodles of time for yourself or a social life. Let’s face it… sometimes, the mere act of trying to schedule something you’d like to do can turn into one more chore.
What to do? Be kind to yourself and relax. Let go of that quest for the perfect work-life balance. Be grateful for the fact that you manage to keep moving. Acknowledge the amazing feats you accomplish each day. Take advantage of those few moments of calm. Then go on and embrace the chaos that surrounds you.
Find joy in all those tasks and obligations. Listen to the sound of your child’s laughter. Feel the texture of the laundry you’re folding. Enjoy what you do at the office. No, it’s not all fun and games. But you can find balance and calm in everyday responsibilities. Sometimes you simply need to change the way you look at things.
Did it sound like I was venting a bit? Well, I was. And I have to say that I’ve enjoyed it. So, there it is… my own personal work-life balance. I’ll call it my guiltless pleasure.
If you’ve found a unique version of the work-life balance, please share.
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